YOUR RIGHTS AND RESOURCES

Taking Control (By Hillary) Let's be honest, 2020 was a mess. Not a beautiful, tangled up, heap of life mess. It was wave after wave of stress, mess. A twenty car pileup kind of mess. A train derailment mess. It was just bad. I'm not particularly a fan of messes. I struggle with letting my toddler son make a mess of things. With so much to do already, who has the time to clean up an extra mess? Sometimes that's a legitimate excuse. Sometimes it's me needing to keep everything in a tidy container. And by 'everything' I mean life. I need to keep my life on the tracks to avoid any messy derailments. Control is the key. In fits of anxiety I put toy cars away in their garage, sanitize baby crinkle books and put them in their basket, and vacuum, sweep, fold laundry until I fall into our easy chair in an exhausted heap. There are things we can control, and then there are things we can't. I remember my dad always loved the serenity prayer, the one that says, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." The same probably applies to things we can control. I can control a lot of messes, but the truth is a few extra cracker crumbs isn't what keeps me up at night. It's worrying about paying bills, putting food on my family's table, and making sure my babies are learning, growing, and loved. This week, after an hour long call, a client and I were talking about this, about stress and worries and taking control. For her, knowing her end-of-life wishes would be respected, that her children would be taken care of, and her affairs would be in order, this was a huge relief to her. She said she would be able to sleep well for the first time since Covid brought some of these issues starkly into focus for her and her family. As I'm typing this, my five month old daughter is asleep on my chest. My almost three year old son is sleeping next to me. There's a pile of laundry that needs to be sorted and folded. Dishes that need to be washed, dried, and put away. And I never got a shower after my workout, because my daughter needed to nurse and fell asleep on me instead. What I'm coming to understand is there will always be messes. Chaos is part of life, especially with two littles. I am learning to take control of the things I can, the things that need controlling. And then letting everything else go with the flow. Taking Control ( to take control of your end-of-life planning such as drafting a will, please give us a call. We'll help you get organized so you can enjoy the things that really matter in life, like the sleepy smiles of a contented baby. For more on getting organized, check out our video HERE .

By: Hillary D. Vaillancourt, Esq. Most of us don’t give much thought to having a will until we welcome our first child. Then, somewhere in the back of our minds, we start to wonder, What happens to my child if something happens to me? However, too many families do not have an estate plan (a will, a medical directive, a healthcare proxy, and a power of attorney). You know you need one, but you drag your feet hoping nothing bad happens (and most likely stressing about it in the meantime). You’re not alone. In fact, Mike and I had trouble creating our own estate plan, and I’m an estate planning lawyer! Why? One of the most common reasons why families fail to have a plan is because they can’t decide on a guardian for their child or children. That was the reason Mike and I struggled to draft a plan when we welcomed our now toddler son. We love our family members and have really great friends, but who was just right to step in and take our place if we should both pass away? The truth is, nobody is ever going to love and care for your children the way you do. You’re their parents. You have been there through the boo-boos and nightmares, the first words and coos and hugs and smooches. You may have carried your child. You may have watched your partner carry your child and seen the little toes and fingers punching against Mama’s belly. The bond of parenthood is unlike any other. It is also true, however, that failing to have a plan at all means your children may end up in foster care at least for a time until legal guardianship can be established. Meanwhile, your children will be in the care of strangers instead of with someone you love and trust. So, how do you finally decide who should serve as a guardian of your children? Make a List Most likely if you think of all the people you know who you would prefer to take care of your kids more than a foster family, you can come up with a pretty hefty list. I have the utmost respect for foster families, by the way. This is not meant to villify foster families at all. But, we generally would prefer that our children be immediately brought into the care of trusted family or friends known to us than a foster family, especially in the aftermath of a crisis such as your passing. Determine Your Values After you have your list of all of your potential candidates, the next step is to consider what your core values are and the values with which you want your children to be raised. Is eating clean food and spending time together eating at the table as a family important to you? Or, maybe you don’t care how many times you eat meals from the drive-thru so long as your kids stay active and are in lots of activities. Maybe it’s important to you that your children learn the value of giving back and volunteering. Or, maybe you want your kids to know the value of the dollar and working hard to be financially stable. Whatever the case may be, think about what value system you are instilling in your children and which of those values is of most importance to you. Narrow Down Your List Once you have your overall list, you can see that there are probably quite a few potential candidates for guardianship of your children. Your task now is to narrow down your choices according to who best shares your value-system. Most parents first think of who might have the finances to care for your children. But, instead, you want to think about which of your family and friends would raise your children with the values you care most about. You want to also choose at least one back-up guardian, but ideally two. This way, as circumstances change in your loved ones lives, if the first or second guardian is unable or unwilling to serve as guardian, you still have another option as a trusted guardian for your children. No matter how you slice it, choosing a guardian for you children can be an emotional process. But, having gone through this ourselves, we can assure you that once you have chosen a guardian, there is an immense sense of relief knowing you have someone in your life that can step in and care for your children should the need arise. If you need additional guidance, please contact Hillary or Mike at The Vaillancourt Law Firm, LLC. We are happy to help protect your family.

In our lives, we cannot recall a time where there seems to be so much division in the country. It is easy to choose to stay silent to avoid conflict and not alienate potential clients. But, we want to be very clear that we care deeply for this country and believe that ALL who inhabit this country are entitled to the civil liberties and civil rights our forefathers and foremothers have fought so hard for. We believe that color, race, creed, gender, immigration status, sexual orientation, etc. are no way to judge another human being. And, we believe that civil disobedience is patriotic. Indeed, it is exactly what founded this nation of ours. As an attorney, I took an oath to support the Constitution of the United States. Within the Constitution and the Bill of Rights are certain enumerated powers belonging to the citizens of this country. Among them is the right to peaceably assemble. We support the many men and women of color and their allies who are fighting peacefully for equality and for justice in the wake of so many recent atrocities committed against people of color. We hope that you will join us in trying to find ways to engage in meaningful dialogue about these issues and to bring about much needed change to ensure that the recent events leading to the protests do not happen again. Hillary & Mike

WHAT ARE YOUR CHILD’S SPECIAL EDUCATION RIGHTS DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC?

Like so many other parents, I find myself homeschooling during the Coronavirus outbreak. And, I had to ask myself, can I really be a homeschooling lawyer mom? My two-year-old son has had a history of digestive and minor medical issues my husband and I believe are related to food allergies. Unfortunately, so far, we haven't been able to get any good answers as to what causes our son's discomfort. Meanwhile there was a confirmed case of flu in my son's daycare class. We are all still recovering from a vicious stomach bug at the end of January. And, honestly? I don't think I could go through that ordeal again, at least not so soon and definitely not 5 months pregnant. My son's daycare wasn't closed due to the Coronavirus, but my husband and I made the decision to withdraw my son to help pinpoint better his food issues and to keep all of us as healthy as possible. While for many parents this is a temporary change, homeschooling my son is something I've been interested in for a long time. The recent circumstances pushed us into it sooner than I anticipated, however. But, for us, this will be a permanent change. Family first. Always. In truth, I am so glad to have this time with my son. But, I'm equally anxious wondering how I'll find the time to accomplish what's needed for my clients, the time to spend with my husband, and the time to invest in myself, too. Today, I learned I actually can find time for all of the above. My son, cuddled next to me, was curious about the email I was typing to a client this morning. He kept trying to bang on the keyboard. At first, I panicked. Then, I started asking him for the next letter I needed. He found the letter, and I helped him press the key. A while layer, I finally hit 'send.' My client email went out, my son practiced his letters, and I felt a massive sense of relief. Yes, I can be a homeschooling lawyer mom. I'm excited to share my family's journey with you and hope you'll share your tips and tricks with us!